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Lucario's Treasures

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Lucario's Treasures

Postby kaijudo » November 28th, 2009, 12:05 pm

Lucario is the soul guardian of Mew but about 20 years ago, when he was a Riolu, he buried some articles across the land. So Mew thought it would be fun to seek the hidden treasures. Each of them was guarded by strong pokemon.

TREASURE ONE – The Blue Ring

Lucario woke up in the morning and then woke up Mew. It was the day of the treasure hunt you could say. So Lucario and Mew packed their bags, well Lucario anyway, and they started the walk or should I say run, to the first treasure which lies deep within the Icy Cavern. So on they went to the field of upholstery. It was full of couches and stuff. Lucario bought some for the tree back home. The snorlax who was the manager there happily accepted the payment in berries. Lucario gave him a sidewise glance as Mew chomped on the berries that remained.

They had reached the Frosty Forest, which was that dungeon from red rescue or blue rescue team. They went inside. Mew was shivering because of the cold wind and Lucario gave him a blanket from the rough sack. He then took out a wooden ball thing that looked like a modern pokeball and sent out a firethingy. The firethingy floated near Mew and kept him warm. The forest became more darker as they approached the center of it. “WHO THE HECK IS DISTURBING MY SLEEP!?” came a voice. An Articuno suddenly rose up and then he was stunned when he saw Mew.

So Articuno allowed them to pass and then a Frosslass came across their path. The Frosslass looked shyly at Lucario and as the Duo continued Frosslass followed them much to Lucario’s resentment of seeing her. Then they reached the cavern of Ice or whatever I called it in PARA 1 and then they went inside it. The moment Lucario stepped on the snow, he was sliding downwards and then he was suddenly on a snowboard which said MEW RULES! So it was one heck of a race with Mew. They slid and they killed the icethingy that came on their path.

At last they reached the stomach of the Cavern Of Ice dodado! So they went to the center and suddenly a giant Regice comes out of nowhere and its bam pow fisk whatever. Regice pulls out a Leone Shotgun and fires it at Lucario. Suddenly Lucario get’s the ability of focus and he dodges the bullet like Neo in the movie which was weird. Then Lucario ran up to Regice and smashed his legs into two and then ripped his chest apart, which isn’t very disgusting or gory since he’s pure ice. So Regice ran away and Lucario dug up the ground. Mew then smashed the ground with Psychic and a blue ring came out of the ground. So Lucario and Mew had found the first treasure so they went back to their tree house, which is true, and then they dozed off to charge themselves and their DS for the next treasure hunt.


------------------------------------------

I'll write treasure two later.
....DONT DO IT! THE CAKE IS A LIE!
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Re: Lucario's Treasures

Postby Prongs » November 28th, 2009, 4:05 pm

You know this is:
1)Short
2)Low level language
3)No description
4)No plot
5)Do you need one more point??

1/10 is what I will rate it.


Don't take offence.
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Re: Lucario's Treasures

Postby kaijudo » November 29th, 2009, 12:47 pm

Yeah I know, I pretty much knew i shouldn't have posted it but it was a pretty old one. I think it was before I started the other one, the one with the seasick rayquaza :D
....DONT DO IT! THE CAKE IS A LIE!
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Re: Lucario's Treasures

Postby Prongs » November 29th, 2009, 3:46 pm

This place is pretty much dead though. I am a sort of author myself, but can't post it since I don't have a scanner.
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Re: Lucario's Treasures

Postby Maxedge » December 1st, 2009, 12:22 pm

lol i wud rate it 6/10
Its full of fun and I like fun!
Though I ain't a good critic >_>

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Re: Lucario's Treasures

Postby adyniz » December 2nd, 2009, 11:52 pm

I would rate it 5/10.
Nice try.
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Re: Lucario's Treasures

Postby Maxedge » December 6th, 2009, 7:04 am

Seems like me's the only one lenient here

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Re: Lucario's Treasures

Postby taninamdar » December 6th, 2009, 4:52 pm

the story is good.
4.5 from me
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